As if denim weren’t already the weightiest material in your closet, the folks at Naked And Famous have rolled out with a pair of selvage jeans they’re deeming “The Heaviest Jeans in the World.” Selvage denim, as we know it, is already fairly thick and much more rigid than any other jean style, but this new pair by Naked And Famous clocks in at a whopping 32 oz (as a comparison, most jeans weigh less than half of that at around 12 or 14 oz). These jeans are SO DENSE that they can support themselves, doubling a kind of portable free-standing monument to bowleggedness. The stats and shock factor tidbits are all well and good, but can a human actually handle wearing these bad boys?
Naked And Famous’s Brandon Svarc seems to think so, writing on the brand’s blog, “I’ve worn a pair for a few days and it was doable, but I’m pretty bony and my hips were a bit marked up afterwards.” HMMMmmm *side-eye* I’m not sure if I’m totally convinced (yes, even despite the overwhelming positives like “doable”)… He reassures us, through the experience of another fashionable 32 oz-owner that “after just 2 days of wear they are broken in and comfy.” Brandon and N&F certainly aren’t trying to posit these things as the next sweatpants substitute (that job can be left to Diesel Joggs), chuffing self-depricatingly that the jeans are “Guaranteed uncomfortable or your money back!”
Selvage denim (even of the now-meager 12-14 oz variety) is woven for durability and longevity which is why it’s usually pretty expensive. These heavyweight jeans may have been produced on the whim of a challenge, a kind of fashion production equivalent to climbing Mount Everest as Brandon says, but they have the distinct potential to be the single greatest investment piece a dude can own. If you can break them in enough to wear past the initial feeling of a full-leg chastity belt, these super-strength jeans are likely to last you the rest of your life! Think you can handle ’em?